Thursday, July 13, 2017

What Happens When You Give Your Baby Up for Adoption?

Angela Rushing is a world traveler, adventurer, trust and freedom seeker, health and fitness enthusiast, animal advocate, and author.

After a successful career in the beauty industry as a top hairstylist in Los Angeles, it looked like I had it made, although my life felt empty and incomplete, unfulfilled and deeply depressed. Having grown up as the only child in an alcoholic family, I self-medicated well into my thirties and forties to numb the pain of my childhood and adolescence. I finally reached a point where I knew I had to make a significant change and find real meaning in my life, or I would likely die.

Her message rings true: You can't overcome obstacles in your life while in 'victimhood.'

Her book is called The Birth Mother Roller Coaster: Navigating through guilt and fear and arriving at self-love and completion. It is an account of how she became a birth mother. She shares her lonely childhood growing up in an alcoholic household, her teenage and young adult years of depression and her own drug and alcohol use. She knew her experience leading up to her adoption/placement and the feelings that came with that must be shared with the world.

Still today, adoption and specifically, the role of the birth mother is still such a taboo subject and so rarely discussed. The fact that there is so much shame around the birth mother that there is little opportunity for her to experience healing, or to even realize that healing is a real possibility. Shame doesn’t allow for healing, in fact, it lives in some of us for our entire lives, preventing intimacy and closeness with friends and partners.

Often, birth moms are so filled with shame and self-hatred that they never feel they deserve to feel happy. They may become addicts, criminals or commit suicide. There are so many adoptees who excitedly search for their birth parents, to have their hopes and dreams shattered (again) because often the birth mom has never healed, never given herself the chance to reconcile her shame, never had a support system. Consequently, she shows up deeply damaged and incapable of having a healthy functioning relationship with this child who so desperately wants to connect with his or her biological parent. This often results in the devastation of the adoptee being “rejected” a second time.

Angela is also involved with an organization to help our four-legged friends. This speaks volumes as to who Angela and her friends are! Helping those who cannot help themselves. Here is the link to check them out and help our precious furry friends from literally, becoming dog meat. Animal Hope and Wellness

Whether you are a birth mother or an adoptive mother, Angela has the insight to help you work through all the emotions surrounding that decision. Her interview will grip your heart whether you are a mom or not. You don't want to miss this interview:

Purchase Angela's book here:  As one can imagine and some of us know all too well, the being a birth mom comes with a large price, complete with lots of soul searching…eventually and hopefully, leading to healing. 

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